People have been reblogging my personal posts about Mikey like crazy and it makes my heart hurt. People have said things about how it makes them cry for a moment and how he is finally “cancer free” or “cured.” If that’s the case, we are 477 days cancer free.
That’s 477 days that a bubbling laughter has been missing from the world, a pair of hockey skates have remained untouched. That’s 477 goodnight hugs that haven’t been given and 477 family dinners with one chair abandoned.
For me it’s been 477 nights of tossing and turning, nightmares, and panic attacks. 477 days of questioning what I should have done differently to protect my baby brother. Days spent trying to convince myself that he still loves me even though I couldn’t save him like I promised I would, because I will never get to hear him say it.
This is not 477 days cancer free. This is 477 days still fighting to survive.